Safe Space? What’s That?

Author: Verol Billett, KAHLE Team Lead (Healing)

There has been much mention of the concept of a “Safe Space” in recent times especially in mental health conversations. But what is this Safe Space we speak of? 

Coming from a mental health practitioner, people may think that it means a room with soft lighting, comfortable chairs, and people who listen without judgment. Yes, that can be one form of it but that is not the only version. A safe space can be emotional, relational, or even digital. A safe space is any environment, whether tangible or intangible, where people feel secure, respected, valued, and free to express themselves authentically without fear of ridicule or harm. This term has roots in the 60’s and 70’s as it was used by multiple marginalized communities, the term suggests that persons have freedom to be and express themselves. In many cases today, when persons say they want a safe space, what is meant is that there is a desire for “psychological safety”. Coined by Professor Amy Edmondson, it means a belief that one will not be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns, or mistakes. No matter if it is physical or non-physical, safety begins in the psyche and therefore it requires that persons should feel comfortable to share. In relationships, there has to be  a shared belief and understanding that a person can take the risk of being vulnerable without negative consequences and being judged or criticized. 

A safe space is any environment, whether tangible or intangible, where people feel secure, respected, valued, and free to express themselves authentically without fear of ridicule or harm.

We can think of physical safe spaces being any place or room where persons feel safe to exist or share without the threat of harm. This threat of harm also can extend beyond being physically harmed to include emotional/psychological harm (e.g fear of being overheard or having their information leaked from their sharing or being judged or bullied). 

On the other hand, non-physical safe spaces are extremely powerful. These are relationships or digital spaces where a person feels comfortable and relaxed to just exist and be. This can be through friendships, romantic relationships, family members, a group/forum on Social Media or video conferencing and collaboration platforms which encourages openness, engenders mutual respect and fosters productivity/progress. One thing that is common however, no matter the “where” is that safe spaces allow for genuine connection! 

How do we create safe spaces?

A safe space is not one size fits all and it is not stagnant. A safe space is truly based on what the individual who desires it needs at the time. Therefore, the individual will need to have and express what they would like in a safe space. If the safe space requires the help of others, then the helper should try to accommodate these characteristics, if they want to 

help.

It is said that a safe space has the following characteristics:  

• Emotional Support: People feel their feelings and experiences are validated and understood.

• Non-Judgmental Environment: There is no fear of being criticized or misunderstood for expressing oneself.

• Respect for Boundaries: Personal limits and boundaries are honored.

• Trust and Confidentiality: Participants are assured that what they share will remain private unless they agree otherwise.

• Empathy and Understanding: Individuals are surrounded by people who genuinely care and try to understand their perspectives.

Maintaining a Safe Space

• Consistency: make the creation of these spaces and the practices habitual and frequent.

• Boundaries: setting rules for how the spaces are to be used so that the spaces can remain supportive and are protected from toxicity. 

• Feedback: seek suggestions from all persons involved on how to make the spaces safer

• Self-Awareness: being mindful of your language, communication practices, body language and your limits (what you can handle versus what you cannot).

How Can We Infuse Safe Spaces Into Daily Life

Online

Use online spaces wisely, carefully and intentionally. In these spaces, we can simply greet and check in with each other. We can also follow credible mental health professionals and advocates to learn tips and skills and then implement in your lives. Be careful who you follow and be mindful of who follows you. 

In being safe online, we need to be intentional about what we share. I recently came across the Watermelon Technique which is a metaphoric guide on how much to share regarding one’s trauma. I think it is also very useful in helping us with what we reveal in the online space. 

The Watermelon Metaphor for Sharing Online

Think of your life as a watermelon:

The whole watermelon is everything about you, i.e. your family, personal struggles, finances, relationships, health, dreams, failures, and secrets. Not everyone needs (or deserves) the whole watermelon.

The seeds are your Private Self as we tend to keep those things that you tend to spit out quietly, keep wrapped up and to yourself (e.g. passwords, financial details, intimate relationship issues, and sensitive family conflicts).

Then we have the flesh that represents those persons with whom we have a close connection. With these trusted persons, we share things like our deeper struggles, vulnerabilities, or personal goals. These aren’t for the general public but for those who can support and uplift you.

Lastly, we have the slices (if we choose to share), where we give just enough to connect with others by just extending a piece of ourselves to the public. These can be posting about enjoying a day at the beach, a motivational quote, or celebrating a milestone. These pieces are safe, uplifting, and don’t expose your core.

We just need to remember that boundaries are important and not everything needs to go online. Also, not everyone with whom we have contact (digital and real life) needs to have the same level of access to us. 

Home

In the home, reinstitute talk time with family time without screens where we listen to each other and allow each person to feel free and safe to express themselves and be heard. For children, remember that they are small beings with large feelings. Therefore, give them the space and the grace to regulate and express their thoughts and feelings and correct them when necessary. Adults who care about children have to make time for our children. 

School

In school, there is often a lot going on which increases for all persons in such an environment to get overwhelmed. We can create spaces called “Calm Down Spot” or a “Sensory Room” where persons (not just children) can go to relax, regulate and feel safe. In the classroom, teachers can infuse check in practices to help build awareness and connectivity. Staff can also support staff through practices such as mentorship programmes or peer-peer check ins. When persons notice that there are signs that an individual is not doing well, alert key persons like the guidance counsellor or administration so that help can be organized. 

Workplace

Organizations can host events and campaigns throughout the year which focus on the wellbeing of their staff from a holistic health point of view. Employers can train supervisors to avoid dismissive phrases like “do it or guh home” or “mi nuh waan hear excuse,” replacing them with a supportive problem-solving stance. Additionally, the partnership with an Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) that offers support to the entire organization at all levels in various health and wellness capacities. 

Final Thought

A safe space is not just a place. It is a practice of compassion, openness, and respect. 

In Jamaica, where we often use humour, music, and community to cope with struggles, building safe spaces can mean sitting with a friend on a corner shop step, checking in via WhatsApp, or giving your child time to “talk tings”. When we commit to this, whether in our homes, workplaces, schools, or online communities, we foster a culture where everyone feels truly seen and supported.

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